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On line 617, column 633 b75f685f"><div class="row sqs-row"><div class="col sqs-col-12 span-12"><div class="sqs-block html-block sqs-block-html" data-block-type="2" id="block-1850a0792973e4a21e47"><div class="sqs-block-content"> <div class="sqs-html-content"> <p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">MARIAH MAZA</p> </div> </div></div><div class="sqs-block spacer-block sqs-block-spacer sized vsize-1" data-block-type="21" id="block-yui_3_17_2_1_1579470233088_55764"><div class="sqs-block-content">&nbsp;</div></div><div class="sqs-block html-block sqs-block-html" data-block-type="2" id="block-yui_3_17_2_1_1605412713838_7674"><div class="sqs-block-content"> <div class="sqs-html-content"> <p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><em>An audio version of this blog post was featured on our </em><a href="/podcast" target="_blank"><em>podcast</em></a><em> on 11/17/2020.</em></p> </div> </div></div><div class="sqs-block audio-block sqs-block-audio" data-block-type="41" id="block-yui_3_17_2_1_1605412713838_17094"><div class="sqs-block-content"> <div class="sqs-audio-embed" data-url="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/t/5fb0a7c32bb93a1ea2e0ffa2/1605412824887/1-10+Do+You+Suffer+Well+Together%3F.mp4/original/1-10+Do+You+Suffer+Well+Together%3F.mp4" data-mime-type="" data-title="Blog Post | Do You Suffer Well Together? " data-author="Andi Compton" data-show-download="false" data-design-style="minimal" data-duration-in-ms="335000" data-color-theme="light" > </div> </div></div><div class="sqs-block html-block sqs-block-html" data-block-type="2" id="block-yui_3_17_2_1_1605412713838_17158"><div class="sqs-block-content"> <div class="sqs-html-content"> <p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">One of the best bits of marriage advice I received as an engaged woman came in the form of a question: “You both love each other very much, <em>but do you suffer well together?</em>”</p> </div> </div></div><div class="sqs-block image-block sqs-block-image" data-block-type="5" id="block-yui_3_17_2_1_1579470233088_56723"><div class="sqs-block-content"> <div class=" image-block-outer-wrapper layout-caption-below design-layout-inline combination-animation-none individual-animation-none individual-text-animation-none " data-test="image-block-inline-outer-wrapper" > <figure class=" sqs-block-image-figure intrinsic " style="max-width:2500px;" > <div class="image-block-wrapper" data-animation-role="image" > <div class="sqs-image-shape-container-element has-aspect-ratio " style=" position: relative; padding-bottom:66.68000030517578%; overflow: hidden;-webkit-mask-image: -webkit-radial-gradient(white, black); " > <img data-stretch="false" data-src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579486609649-W0WB78XQ9XBMXQWG5H8E/image-asset.jpeg" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579486609649-W0WB78XQ9XBMXQWG5H8E/image-asset.jpeg" data-image-dimensions="2500x1667" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="PHOTOGRAPHY: ABBEY REZ PHOTOGRAPHY" data-load="false" elementtiming="system-image-block" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579486609649-W0WB78XQ9XBMXQWG5H8E/image-asset.jpeg" width="2500" height="1667" alt="" siz |
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On line 774, column 592 1667" alt="" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, (max-width: 767px) 100vw, 100vw" style="display:block;object-fit: cover; width: 100%; height: 100%; object-position: 50% 50%" onload="this.classList.add(&quot;loaded&quot;)" srcset="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579486609649-W0WB78XQ9XBMXQWG5H8E/image-asset.jpeg?format=100w 100w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579486609649-W0WB78XQ9XBMXQWG5H8E/image-asset.jpeg?format=300w 300w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579486609649-W0WB78XQ9XBMXQWG5H8E/image-asset.jpeg?format=500w 500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579486609649-W0WB78XQ9XBMXQWG5H8E/image-asset.jpeg?format=750w 750w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579486609649-W0WB78XQ9XBMXQWG5H8E/image-asset.jpeg?format=1000w 1000w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579486609649-W0WB78XQ9XBMXQWG5H8E/image-asset.jpeg?format=1500w 1500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579486609649-W0WB78XQ9XBMXQWG5H8E/image-asset.jpeg?format=2500w 2500w" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-loader="sqs"> </div> </div> <figcaption class="image-caption-wrapper"> <div class="image-caption"><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><em>PHOTOGRAPHY: </em><a href="https://www.spokenbride.com/vendor-pages/abby-rez-photography" target="_blank"><em>ABBEY REZ PHOTOGRAPHY</em></a></p></div> </figcaption> </figure> </div> </div></div><div class="sqs-block html-block sqs-block-html" data-block-type="2" id="block-yui_3_17_2_1_1579470233088_60639"><div class="sqs-block-content"> <div class="sqs-html-content"> <p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">In our first two years of marriage, my husband and I have been handed more crosses than I ever expected. And that’s coming from a woman who walked into marriage expecting my share of suffering--a fruit of my natural temperament. After all, I thought, if our vocation is a large part of what God uses to mold us into saints, part of that refining process will be painful.</p><blockquote><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">But in that time, I have learned about a different kind of pain: that there is nothing more lonely in a marriage than not learning how to suffer well together. As you prepare for marriage with your beloved, do not be afraid to grapple with the question I was once asked.</p></blockquote><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">After a man and woman truly become “one flesh” in the sacrament, they are connected physically, emotionally, and spiritually for the rest of their lives. This supernatural connection bonds you more intimately than any other human relationship on this side of heaven, and it encompasses every part of your new life together, including suffering.</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Before marriage, and especially during engagement, many couples walk through difficult seasons. These don’t have to be trials to merely be endured. They can also become a source of redemption and practice for a lifetime of sharing everyday experiences. There is also profound comfort in the knowledge that, after your wedding day, God has reserved generous, specific, and boundless marital graces for you and your spouse to endure “for better or for worse.”</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">So how can you prepare during engagement to face the crosses of marriage together? An honest discussion is a great start. Take turns asking each other, “when you encounter suffering, how do you respond?”</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Maybe your natural response is to talk about your problems, cry, and be held in the embrace of a loved one. Your fiance may say he prefers to distance himself when he’s upset. He would rather think about and process problems alone, and he’s not one to express his negative emotions. Neither of these tendencies are wrong, but in a marriage, different personality traits can clash unexpectedly.</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Genuine love means striving to understand your spouse, even (especially) in areas where you are different. These are often the areas that will require the most sacrifice and selflessness. Learning how to allow your differences to complement each other, especially in painful moments, is an ongoing process that is refined over years of marriage. It is something my husband will continue to refine for the rest of our lives.&nbsp;</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">And yet, it is possible through the grace of confession and God’s mercy. You’ll learn how to better answer the next important question: “When crosses enter our marriage, how are we going to face them <em>together</em>?”</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">There is nothing like the feeling of facing a trial as a team, instead of letting it become a source of conflict, isolation, and loneliness. When husbands and wives suffer well together, they grow closer because of the pain, instead of being driven apart. They hold each other in silent but beautiful moments of shared grief, and are a source of comfort to the other.</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">I will never forget the day my husband and I received particularly bad news. It was the latest in a string of unfortunate events, some we had handled better than others. We sat together on the couch, and I asked, “what are we going to do?” We talked about our fears, honest and vulnerable, and then we held each other.&nbsp;</p><blockquote><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">We were both afraid of the uncertainties to come, but I found a strength in his arms that almost felt like joy in the midst of grappling with something out of our control. In that moment we faced fear as a team, and I finally began to understand, just a little, what it meant to suffer together.</p></blockquote><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">When my husband and I said our wedding vows, we stood in front of the altar and held a crucifix between us. In that moment, we were a visible symbol of how we were to carry our crosses “until death do us part:” together, with Christ as our binding strength. Apart from the cross, there is no grace to suffer well. United to the cross, our suffering, especially in marriage, becomes something redemptive, refining, and unifying.</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">In a true miracle of grace, God can bring spouses closer through their crosses, and in the process closer to him. Do not fear the trials that may come in marriage. If you face them together, with courage and prayer, your love for each other can only grow stronger.</p> </div> </div></div><div class="sqs-block horizontalrule-block sqs-block-horizontalrule" data-block-type="47" id="block-yui_3_17_2_1_1579470233088_61132"><div class="sqs-block-content"><hr /></div></div><div class="sqs-block image-block sqs-block-image sqs-col-3 span-3 float float-left" data-block-type="5" id="block-yui_3_17_2_1_1579470233088_108864"><div class="sqs-block-content"> <div class=" image-block-outer-wrapper layout-caption-below design-layout-inline combination-animation-none individual-animation-none individual-text-animation-none " data-test="image-block-inline-outer-wrapper" > <figure class=" sqs-block-image-figure intrinsic " style="max-width:200px;" > <div class="image-block-wrapper" data-animation-role="image" > <div class="sqs-image-shape-container-element has-aspect-ratio " style=" position: relative; padding-bottom:100%; overflow: hidden;-webkit-mask-image: -webkit-radial-gradient(white, black); " > <img data-stretch="false" data-src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579487848907-IUANXTWGRGEAUDS67AN1/image-asset.png" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579487848907-IUANXTWGRGEAUDS67AN1/image-asset.png" data-image-dimensions="200x200" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="" data-load="false" elementtiming="system-image-block" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579487848907-IUANXTWGRGEAUDS67AN1/image-asset.png" width="200" height="200" alt="" siz |
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On line 904, column 75 "200" alt="" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, (max-width: 767px) 100vw, 100vw" style="display:block;object-fit: cover; width: 100%; height: 100%; object-position: 50% 50%" onload="this.classList.add(&quot;loaded&quot;)" srcset="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579487848907-IUANXTWGRGEAUDS67AN1/image-asset.png?format=100w 100w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579487848907-IUANXTWGRGEAUDS67AN1/image-asset.png?format=300w 300w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579487848907-IUANXTWGRGEAUDS67AN1/image-asset.png?format=500w 500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579487848907-IUANXTWGRGEAUDS67AN1/image-asset.png?format=750w 750w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579487848907-IUANXTWGRGEAUDS67AN1/image-asset.png?format=1000w 1000w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579487848907-IUANXTWGRGEAUDS67AN1/image-asset.png?format=1500w 1500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579487848907-IUANXTWGRGEAUDS67AN1/image-asset.png?format=2500w 2500w" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-loader="sqs"> </div> </div> </figure> </div> </div></div><div class="sqs-block html-block sqs-block-html" data-block-type="2" id="block-yui_3_17_2_1_1579470233088_61477"><div class="sqs-block-content"> <div class="sqs-html-content"> <p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><strong>About the Author: </strong>Mariah Maza is Spoken Bride’s Features Editor. She is the lead editor for the pro-life non-profit Voices for the Voiceless and one of the journalists behind the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrMrRw6KzNbboJXQCwcbqrSzAEx_LvnMN" target="_blank"><em>Voices Docuseries: West</em></a>. <a href="http://www.spokenbride.com/about-us/"><em>Read more</em></a></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.voicesforthevoiceless.org/" target="_blank">WEBSITE</a> | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/_vftv/" target="_blank">INSTAGRAM</a> | <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeZL0EH4Awbm0NV1-MUHbNw" target="_blank">YOUTUBE</a></p> </div> </div></div></div></div></div></div> <!--POST FOOTER--> <footer class="article-meta"> <div> <span class="article-dateline"> <span class="date"><a href="/blog/2020/1/20/catholic-marriage-suffering"><i class="icon-calendar"></i><time class="published" datetime="2020-01-20">January 20, 2020</time></a><span class="delimiter">/</span></span> </span> <span class="article-byline"> <span class="location"></span> <span class="author"><a href="/blog?author=56d5acfb01dbaeda39bd1096" rel="author"><i class="icon-user"></i>Editor Spoken Bride</a><span class="delimiter">/</span></span> </span> <div class="categories"><i class="icon-bookmark"></i><a href="/blog/category/For+Newlyweds" rel="tag">For Newlyweds</a>, <a href="/blog/category/For+Fianc%C3%A9s+and+Husbands" rel="tag">For Fiancés and Husbands</a>, <a href="/blog/category/For+Brides" rel="tag">For Brides</a></div> <div class="tags"><i class="icon-tag"></i><a href="/blog/tag/Marriage+Wisdom" rel="tag">Marriage Wisdom</a>, <a href="/blog/tag/Marriage+Prep" rel="tag">Marriage Prep</a>, <a href="/blog/tag/Mariah+Maza" rel="tag">Mariah Maza</a></div> <div class="shareLoveButtons"> <span class="sqs-simple-like" data-item-id="5e250a8ec7713960b75f685f" data-like-count="2"> <span class="like-icon"></span> <span class="like-count"></span> </span> <span class="squarespace-social-buttons inline-style" data-system-data-id="1579486825102-ZBMU6Z05SK8S1LQEAVN4" data-asset-url="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d5acfd2fe131b4cc5ccdbc/1579486825102-ZBMU6Z05SK8S1LQEAVN4/Amanda%2BJavi6.jpg" data-record-type="1" data-full-url="/blog/2020/1/20/catholic-marriage-suffering" data-title="Do You Suffer Well Together?"></span> </div> <div class="author-block" style=""> <div class="author-avatar" style="background-image: url(https://static1.squarespace.com/static/images/5c81df2127978f141b8fbd2c/300w);"></div> <h3 class="author-name"><a href="/blog?author=56d5acfb01dbaeda39bd1096">Editor Spoken Bride</a></h3> <div class="author-bio"><p></p></div> </div> <div class="post-entry-injection clear-fix"></div> </div> </footer> </div><!-- /post --> </div><!-- /content-wrapper --> </article> <!--PAGINATION--> <nav class="item pagination"> <div class="content-wrapper"> <ul> <li class="prev"><a href="/blog/2020/1/21/editors-share-discern-a-vocation" title="Editors Share | Discerning a Vocation " id="prevLink"><i class="icon-chevron-left"></i><span class="prev-title">Editors Share | Discerning a ...</span></a></li> <li class="next"><a href="/blog/2020/1/17/2020-vendors-share" title="Vendor Week 2020 | Vendors Share: First Steps, Priorities, + Working With Non-Catholic Vendors" id="nextLink"><span class="next-title">Vendor Week 2020 | Vendors Share: ...</span><i class="icon-chevron-right"></i></a></li> </ul> </div> </nav> <!--COMMENTS--> </div> <div id="page-body-footer" class="extra-wrapper"> <div class="sqs-layout sqs-grid-12 columns-12 empty" data-layout-label="Blog Footer Content" data-type="block-field" id="page-footer-5746520b5559862c844b5765"><div class="row sqs-row"><div class="col sqs-col-12 span-12"></div></div></div> </div> </div> </div> <!-- content-wrapper --> <div id="sidebar-one-wrapper" class="vertical-navigation-bar-wrapper"> <div id="sidebar-one" class="vertical-navigation-bar"> <nav id="main-navigation" class="main-nav" data-content-field="navigation"> <ul |
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